9ja

Only For Naija II HAPPY DEMOCRACY DAY! Nigeria, our beloved country where: Leaders pretend to be patriotic when they are in office, out of office, they will turn to ethnic tigers. People pay for electricity bill yet you don't see light. A cripple has driver license. The wife of d Governors don't have SSCE certificate and yet they earn big salary. Police men are informants for robbers, You can act like a big boy with just N50 in your pocket. Old people with grey hair try to make it black again and younger ones dye theirs to become grey. Married people remove their rings and pretend to be single, and unmarried ones wear rings in the name of fashion. A blind man present a driver's licence as proof of identity. Football fans kill themselves over distant clubs they don't know about. We produce crude oil and still import petrol and kerosene from other countries. Garri sellers even have an association! A student of higher institution don't attend class, don't write tests and exams but still have first class. A Biochemistry graduate becomes bank branch manager and petroleum engineers work in Airports. Poor people branch a restaurant only if they want to use the toilet. A poor man drinks garri in the morning, pure-water in the afternoon and groundnut in the night, and thank God A lady will be 30 year old but says she's 19. You can win an election in the prison. Police will see red and tell you it's white. One of the Twin brothers celebrates his 37th year on earth will the other celebrates his 27th year on earth God bless NIGERIA! Keep it rolling by adding your own in the comment box below... by @fatboyslim Tweet 28

9ja

Only For Naija II HAPPY DEMOCRACY DAY! Nigeria, our beloved country where: Leaders pretend to be patriotic when they are in office, out of o...

Read more »

ugly lady

Ugly Lady Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little hut. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers. The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink. The women says, "Sure, if you have sex with me." The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then have sex with you." The second man wants to live and agree's to do the deed. He and the woman enter the hut, leaving the first man outside. The woman says, "Well, let's do it!" The man agrees to start but only if she will close her eyes. He looks around the hut and sees a table full of corn on it. He picks one up, uses it on her and throws it out the window. The woman opens her eyes and asks for it again. The man agrees and repeats the deed. The woman is finally satisfied and agrees to give the man and his friend some water. The man calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give them some water. The friend replies, "The hell with the water, I want some more of that buttered corn!"

ugly lady

Ugly Lady Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little hut. They run up to it and kno...

Read more »

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After trying her line several for hours and still off, you decided to check into a hotel. On getting there, you discovered your wallet has been stolen. You drop your bag at the reception, ran to a nearby bank to withdraw with your ATM card. On getting there, the ATM traps your card. You go straight into the bank to withdraw the money but they tell you that the network is down and will remain so throughout the day. On your way back to the hotel, you receive an alert which says, All your money, N50,000 has been deducted from your account some minutes ago. Completely infuriated now, you got to the hotel only to find out your bag is no more. You asked d receptionist, he points to an inscription on the notice board to you which reads, "BAGS KEPT AT OWNERS RISK". At this point, you lose it completely. In a bid to prevent trouble, the receptionist calls the security to lock you up. And you spend the rest of your day in prison with inmates who beat the living day light out of you.

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After ...

Read more »

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After trying her line several for hours and still off, you decided to check into a hotel. On getting there, you discovered your wallet has been stolen. You drop your bag at the reception, ran to a nearby bank to withdraw with your ATM card. On getting there, the ATM traps your card. You go straight into the bank to withdraw the money but they tell you that the network is down and will remain so throughout the day. On your way back to the hotel, you receive an alert which says, All your money, N50,000 has been deducted from your account some minutes ago. Completely infuriated now, you got to the hotel only to find out your bag is no more. You asked d receptionist, he points to an inscription on the notice board to you which reads, "BAGS KEPT AT OWNERS RISK". At this point, you lose it completely. In a bid to prevent trouble, the receptionist calls the security to lock you up. And you spend the rest of your day in prison with inmates who beat the living day light out of you.

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After ...

Read more »

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After trying her line several for hours and still off, you decided to check into a hotel. On getting there, you discovered your wallet has been stolen. You drop your bag at the reception, ran to a nearby bank to withdraw with your ATM card. On getting there, the ATM traps your card. You go straight into the bank to withdraw the money but they tell you that the network is down and will remain so throughout the day. On your way back to the hotel, you receive an alert which says, All your money, N50,000 has been deducted from your account some minutes ago. Completely infuriated now, you got to the hotel only to find out your bag is no more. You asked d receptionist, he points to an inscription on the notice board to you which reads, "BAGS KEPT AT OWNERS RISK". At this point, you lose it completely. In a bid to prevent trouble, the receptionist calls the security to lock you up. And you spend the rest of your day in prison with inmates who beat the living day light out of you.

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After ...

Read more »

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After trying her line several for hours and still off, you decided to check into a hotel. On getting there, you discovered your wallet has been stolen. You drop your bag at the reception, ran to a nearby bank to withdraw with your ATM card. On getting there, the ATM traps your card. You go straight into the bank to withdraw the money but they tell you that the network is down and will remain so throughout the day. On your way back to the hotel, you receive an alert which says, All your money, N50,000 has been deducted from your account some minutes ago. Completely infuriated now, you got to the hotel only to find out your bag is no more. You asked d receptionist, he points to an inscription on the notice board to you which reads, "BAGS KEPT AT OWNERS RISK". At this point, you lose it completely. In a bid to prevent trouble, the receptionist calls the security to lock you up. And you spend the rest of your day in prison with inmates who beat the living day light out of you.

definition of a tireble day

Definition Of A Terrible Day You take a seven hour journey to see a girl you met online. On getting there, her phone is switched off! After ...

Read more »

lion

Lion Tamer A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is Akpos in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to Akpos and asks, "Can you top that?" "No problem," replies Akpos, "just get that lion out of the way."

lion

Lion Tamer A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is Akpos in his mid- twenties and the other is a gor...

Read more »